And so it begins...

Ah, the inaugural post. Everyone who ever starts a blog must have to confront this problem, and most probably start just as unoriginally as this. Nevertheless, here it is!

To expand on the brief description at the top of the page, this blog will, I hope, mix discussion of current affairs with explanations of basic scientific principles. And combined with this is likely to be some comment on more general (and trivial) topics in life.

This is sounding dangerously like a pitch for a Jeremy Clarkson book, so let me be clear: I'm not a grumpy old man. I'm 22 years old, I do, in general, think the world is a wonderful place, and I've never been known to combine jacket and jeans in the same outfit.

As for the title of the blog, "My Kingdom for an Intelligent Octopus", this is a quote from one of my favourite characters, Hawkeye, in one of my favourite television programmes, M*A*S*H. I chose to name the blog this because I'd say that, on average, I think this to myself at least once a day.

There are very few situations in life in which an intelligent octopus wouldn't be of great use. And such an occasion presented itself to me on this very night.

I was cycling home from university earlier this evening. During the course of the day, the weather had gone from clement to in-bloody-clement (in science that's the next level up from simply "inclement", in case you were wondering). As I pressed on along the unlit country lanes that make up my route, hail was pelting the ground and frosty wind made moan. Death was all but inevitable.

And so it nearly proved when, on a patch of rain-greased ice, the bike slipped from under me and I was sent crashing to the floor. If you've ever seen the extended version of the video for Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" (as I'm sure you all have), you'll be able to envisage just how spectacular the crash was.

Well, as is evident, I didn't die. They don't call me the Captain Scarlett of cycling for nothing....

Oh, alright - I don't call MYSELF the Captain Scarlett of cycling for nothing.

But let's just examine quickly how an intelligent octopus would have improved this situation.

With four tentacles he or she could have provided stability and suction on the road. Two could have held supplementary lights. Which leaves two to give a nice head massage to combat the stress of the experience.

I don't think any of you can now fail to understand why I chose the title as I did...