News Knows Best

Worst in a decade, that’s what the news said.
So when will you get it into your head?
With Fergus in place with his caption machine,
Soph on the case with your pics on the screen
And grave, dire warnings from Robbie McElwee,
Surely you’ll notice it’s really quite snowy.

Apparently not, so it would seem,
As you load up the car and defrost the screen.
And set off to work with a steely resolve,
With an extra thick jacket, and salt to dissolve
This weird, white stuff which covers the floor.
“It looks sort of familiar – have I seen it before?”

From the car radio the warnings you hear:
“Travel chaos - nowhere is clear”
Must be of use to those who are stranded,
And the many poor souls whose planes haven’t landed.
But this road’s just fine, these tyres’ll last.
“Was that a camera crew that just went past?

The News tried to warn you not to go out.
Savage was adamant, no hint of doubt.
It’s funny when you miss what’s right in your face.
Like the road where a snowdrift had taken its place.
Perhaps now you’ll listen to the guys on TV:
“That car looks familiar - oh look, it’s me!”