Vapid, Vacant and Vacuous: The Venal and Virulent, Violently Voracious Violation that is the Vox Pop

Don't worry if you don't understand the title of this post - I'm not sure I do.

All you need take in is that what follows is about Vox Pops.

Now for those of you who don't know what a vox pop is, I can't tell you how lucky you are (nor how envious I am of you).

But unless you know what one is, the rest of what I write won't make much sense.

So take this as your chance to bail out: navigate away from this page, and go and live a long, happy and fulfilled life.

Right, I think I've given sufficient warning. So if you're still reading, on - or rather, in - your own head be it.

Vox Pops are those throwaway bits of telly or radio where members of the public are asked to comment on a particular issue, or news story.

On the face of it they're harmless enough. And that's because they are.

In fact, the title to this post is little more than scaremongering. There's nothing corrupt about a Vox Pop, so "venal" is a tad harsh. And no research has yet proved that they're bad for your health (despite my wealth of anecdotal evidence), so to describe them as virulent is also unfair. I'm afraid I only used them because they were scary-sounding words beginning with V. But I stand by vapid, vacant and vacuous.

I realise that my words probably reek of bias (whatever bias smells of). And maybe they are biased. But in my defence, I only think what I think because I think it's right.

In my condemnation, however, I'm pretty sure Nick Griffin would employ the same logic.

So what's actually wrong with them?

Well, nothing in principle. It's fine to ask people about their opinions. Surveys do it all the time. But surveys (when done well, at least) are rigorous pieces of research, with well thought-out and non-leading questions. They sample large numbers of the public (again, when they're done well) and these samples take in an accurate cross section of society.

In summary, they conclude nothing more and nothing less than that which they find to be true.

Vox pops purport to be arbiters of public opnion, in much the same way that a survey is.

But they aren't.

For a start, the only people sampled are those who are willing to help out the strange man or woman with a tape recorder in hand and a hint of desperation in the eyes. And let's face it, such people are likely to be either wonderfully helpful people (who'd probably just tell you what they think you want to hear, just to be nice), or shouty people whose opinion represents an extreme either way. Or the borderline insane.

Nor are vox pops as rigorous as proper surveys. If they were, they'd be even more boring than they are, because the vast majority of people, on the vast majority of issues, have a fairly neutral opinion. So Vox Pops should be chacterised by "dunno"s and "not that bothered to be honest"s.

But actually they're filled with "Absolutely"s and "Disgraces", because the more extreme opinions are seen as the most interesting ones.

The result is that news stories are presented as divisive, even if they're not, particularly. That encourages viewers and listeners into the notion that an opinion isn't worth anything unless it's an extreme one. And that's wrong. In fact, the only opinion that's worth something is a true one. Boring, mundane, predictable - if it's well thought-out, it's worthy of airtime in my opinion. Unfortunately, any journalist who follows this ideal, and makes his or her vox pop an accurate sample, is unlikely to find regular work!

One other criticism of Vox Pops that's often mentioned is that they represent lazy journalism. As an argument it's easy to follow - the idea that, rather than going to the trouble of tracking down an expert to comment on a story, journalists seem to just hit the streets and ask any old member of the public for his or her opinion.

It may surprise you, but this is the criticism with which I take most issue.

And that's because I've tried doing vox pops myself, and - trust me - there's nothing lazy about the process. It's gut-wrenching, heart-sinking, crest-falling and most boring.

You're probably beginning to realise now why I said what I did earlier on about me being biased. I'm embittered by personal experience as a Postgraduate Broadcast Journalism student. So you should definitely take this into account when considering everything you've just read. But I do think that what I've said is, in the main, well-reasoned.

To finish, I'm not going to deconstruct the vox pop gathering process. You've endured quite enough of my attempted deconstructions for one day. Instead, I'll leave you with my steps and tips on how to go about doing your own Vox Pop, should you be unfortunate enough to have to do one:

1. Do a poo.

Making Vox Pops takes most people a long way out of their comfort zones (accosting people on the street, being pushy etc isn't easy). People get nervous when out of their comfort zones. And as we all know, nerves tighten all sets of muscles in the body except one. So help yourself, take a minute or five, and do a poo.

2. Check your recording equipment (N.B. You should've left the loo at this stage).

Checking the recording equipment, in my experience anyway, is completely unneccessary. This is actually code for giving youself more time to form questions. Which is, itself, code for stalling.

3. Go into town and have a nice walk.

This is another excercise in nerve mastery. But you can justify it in your mind as "sussing out the local patch".

4. Check the sound recording levels.

Getting the sound levels right is paramount. And it's a process that can take many tens of minutes to complete.

5. Have another nice walk.

You decide the background noise in your chosen location is too intrusive. It'd be unprofessional not to move.

6. Check the sound levels.

New location, new levels.

7. Go and get yourself something to eat.

You want to ingratiate yourself with locals and that burger van looks like the perfect place to start. And all this preparation has been very hard work.

8. Blend in.

You're ready to vox. But before you do, it's best that you hang around for a bit in your chosen location, so as not to appear too conspicuously out of place to the public. (Don't worry, you won't look suspicious at all.)

9. Make your approach.

Choose someone who you think will neither pose a physical threat, nor see you as a physical threat.

9.1. Prey on the weak.

Take into accout the physical threat problem, but remember that the slow, the considerate, and the preoccupied must all be seen as fair game. You've got journalising to do.

9.2. Be nice.

A smiling face and plenty of eye contact is disarming.

9.3. Don't be nice.

Put it this way: Whom do you choose to sit next to one the bus? The person who looks out of the window in determined disengagement, or the one who looks at you, smiles, and pats the vacant seat?

9.4. Try again.

Okay, the first attempt didn't come off. Don't worry. Just carry on, and console yourself in the solid journalistic ideals that have brought you to this place. Oh, wait...

10. Repeat all of the above.

Carry on until you have the material you need, or until you realise there's a deadline looming (whichever comes first).

Happy Voxing!